30 Kids, a Hatchett Man, and the Hokey-Pokey
You ever just sit around and think about fathering kids? Desmond Hatchett, a 33 year-old dude from Tennessee did, and a lot by the look of things, because he ended up with 30 rug-rats. Hot damn, man, you’re on fire! I mean, how the hell in a hoot-a-nanny do you father 30 damn kids? Okay, so maybe that’s not exactly the right question, seeing as how the answer’s as plain as pie. I mean, what the hell where you thinking, dude, when you fathered 30…hang, on, wrong question again…I’m pretty sure we know what he was thinking.
He was thinking about the Hokey-Pokey, right? He put his third leg in, he took his third leg out, he put his third leg in, and shaked it all about. He did the Hokey-Pokey and he turned himself into a dude who’s gotta pay child support to 11 women. Tell you what, that’s a “Hatchett” job if I ever heard of one. I mean, this dude’s been hacking away at this for years. I mean, he’s taken a lot of whacks at being a father. I mean…okay, enough of that.
Thing about the child support is, seeing as how the Hatchett man only makes minimum wage, a lot of the moms are only getting like $1.49 a month, which last time I checked was enough to buy a pack of diapers….circa, about 1945. And isn’t word getting around the neighborhood about this guy? I mean, mothers, lock up your daughters when you see the Hatchett man coming.
And here’s the really crazy part: the Hatchett man’s oldest kid is only 14. That means he’s averaged better than two kids and two moms for the past 14 years. The guy’s setting up franchises, trouble being that they don’t make money. And when they asked him how it all happened he said: “I put the third leg in, I take the third leg out…” Actually, the dude said he hit the big 3-oh because: “I had four kids in the same year. Twice.” Okay, Hatchett man, that covers eight of the little buggers. What about the other 22? I mean, that’s two soccer teams, football offense and defense. Jesus wept. And when he did, Desmond Hatchett got hot and bothered and found lucky lady 12, no doubt. What the hell!
Despite the fact that Hatchett man’s been to court over child support a bunch, it seems the state can’t shut down his factory. He hasn’t broken any laws, aside from being a total blithering-jackass-pistoning-jackrabbit of human being. So remember, kids, don’t be a Hatchett man. Wrap your junk up. Use a rubber, man. Got no rubber? Shit, grab a plastic bag, Saran-wrap, whatever, a bologna sandwich, whatever. Hot damn!
Desmond Hatchett is a disgusting disgrace. Not only him but the women who slept with him and went ahead and had the babies are fools also. Whatever happened to the word No. In fact what about celibacy? Don’t people believe in that any more. Mr. Hatchett either needs to be celibate or use birth control. Having children out of wedlock is not a game or an accomplishment. Just look at the prison or foster care systems. I’ll bet you 10 to 1 that most of those kids/prisoners parents were not married when they had they and look at where they’re at now. Something like this is not funny. Mr. Hatchett and people like him are a drain on our society. Then there’s the kids. I bet those kids never see Desmond Hatchett. When does he have time to take them to the museum, zoo, play baseball in the park, on picnics, etc… My Dad did all those things with my brother and I. My parents were married when the had my brother and I and stayed married for 40 years until they both passed away. That’s the way things are supposed to be. I hate to see sick immoral people like Hatchett glamorized like he’s some kind of a stud. No Hatchett is a moron and an idiot.
Ma’am, you’re quite right. And also it’s just damn sad, too. It’s a no-win situation for everyone involved. sad for the kids and moms. No way Desmond’s gonna be happy either. It’s a damn shame.